Month: May 2016

Mental Health Monday: Week 6

You know the drill by now, It’s another Mental Health Monday!

Hello  everyone and welcome to  Mental Health Monday! This is a weekly installment that I’m running in hopes that it catches on and becomes a series that others feel comfortable enough to participate in and bring more attention to dealing with mental health. If you’re curious and would like to participate head over to Mental Health Mondays guideline page.

Finally I have something genuinely positive to write about this week! After many many months of being unemployed and desperately searching for employment, I finally landed a job! Prior to this point I’ve always just seen my job as just that, A job. It was always just something I did but didn’t enjoy simply because I had bills and ambitions that required money. This time around I finally found a job that I can say I enjoy going to, I like my coworkers and I enjoy the work and the products we make, I think I can finally understand what the term “job satisfaction” means now.

Additionally this job is not only enjoyable for me, It’s the best pay and benefits I have ever had at any job I’ve ever worked. I don’t think your average person who works without mental health issues can really fathom the hell that is being unemployed whilst trying to pay for rent, food and meds. In my case I mostly had to cut out two of those, For the past couple months I had to cut out two of my 3 daily medications because I couldn’t afford it, As well as cut my food budget down to unhealthy levels. Panic attacks from the constant financial stress and lack of meds just became a part of my life. My depression became worse without my meds and in general I just felt miserable all the time. Not a situation anyone should have to go through.

But finally after a really long time, Things are genuinely looking up. I’m finally on a track where I can not only get back to stability, I can actually improve my life rather than just scraping by, And that’s a pretty wonderful feeling.

 

Mental Health Mondays

Mental Health Monday: Week 5

A delayed Mental Health Monday is better than no MHM right?

Hello  everyone and welcome to  Mental Health Monday! This is a weekly installment that I’m running in hopes that it catches on and becomes a series that others feel comfortable enough to participate in and bring more attention to dealing with mental health. If you’re curious and would like to participate head over to Mental Health Mondays guideline page.

Sorry about the delayed post this week, I had a filling fall out of my tooth causing me extreme pain and discomfort and I’ve been rather hopped up on pain meds.

Honestly I’m a little unsure about what to write about this week, Other than the tooth pain I actually had a good week, The first genuinely good week I’ve had in a long while. I reestablished connections with someone who I haven’t had contact with in quite a while, I found an amazing new band to add to my ever growing collection of music and I manged to work up the effort to clean my computer desk.  It’s been a week of small battles and victories rather than all out war, And sometimes in the journey of dealing with your own mind that can be a really refreshing thing, Even though it wasn’t an entirely positive week and I still had my moments of weakness and self doubt they seemed relatively minor compared to the positives of the week. The issues didn’t go away or even particularly get better, It was still a battle the whole way through the week, But it felt like the weight I was carrying was ever so slightly lighter this week.

I’ve never been able to get into journaling. I just never found myself falling into the habit, Mostly because I just never found myself to have much to say on a daily basis, But this format of MHM has been really nice. Once a week allows for me to have some time to reflect and collaborate my own thoughts and actually give me enough to write rather than single line remarks like “Today sucked” which isn’t exactly helpful in the scope of things. So I ask you readers, Do you find journaling to be a benefit? Do you do it daily? Weekly? Monthly? or maybe you’ve never tried but i’m curious to hear some responses so let me know in the comments section!

 

Mental Health Mondays

Review: Doxy Skittle

The Doxy Skittle is here! And It’s quite an interesting looking one, But it won’t make you taste the rainbow…Actually it’s so powerful that it just might.

I’ll be totally honest here, This was originally going to be a video review, But after loosing my footage 3 separate times I’m far too frustrated to re-film and re-edit what I’ve lost right now, Remember people, A single backup isn’t enough! I will probably still make the video review, But I wanted to get this out first.

Overview

I feel like a lot of people may not realize that Skittle is also the name for a pin used in the game “Skittles” rather than the sugary candy, Which makes a lot more sense when you look at the Doxy Skittle  because clearly it looks nothing like candy. But it is a really interesting looking toy isn’t it? I was almost slightly confused as to why it was designed like this when I first looked at it but after using it that confusion went out the window. The Doxy Skittle is a wall outlet powered vibrator meant to be gender neutral, Usable for variety of body types, And offer powerful vibrations.

Top Section

The whole thing stands around 19cm tall with the insertable portion being approximately 6cm in height, Immediately after the insertable portion the toy flares out to oval base around 5cm wide, The Skittle stays pretty wide and curves in an out again down towards the base but this is where you hold the toy rather than use it. Most of the toy is covered in matte silicone except for a strip along the bottom which is ABS plastic. Coming out of the base is the cord which leads the inline controller for the toy, The other side of the controller leads to the wall plug. The attached cable for the Skittle is insanely long, It’s easily the longest cable I have ever seen on a toy and I don’t think anyone would ever complain about not being able to reach somewhere from the outlet, It’s 4 meters long!

Lets talk about the controller for a minute because some wonderful little details were added that I love. The controller has 3 nice and big buttons with inset power, plus and minus symbols on them, In addition the buttons glow blue when the toy is on making them even easier to use but my favourite bit is that even if the toy is off when you plug it in the buttons pulse and light up for a second, this is a really nice little detail that makes finding the controller in the dark really easy – Kudos Doxy. Other than that the controller functions like you would expect, Power for on and off, plus and minus for increasing or decreasing vibration intensity. Accessing the pulse setting is a little bit different though, you have to turn the toy off and then turn it back on again by holding the power button down for two seconds then releasing it, After that you can use the plus and minus buttons to vary intensity.

Coming back to the insertable pointer or “finger” and the base below it, Along the one side of the base there is a raised section with two indented sections to either side, I’m pretty sure that this is meant to sit comfortably between labia and provide clitoral stimulation but I found another great use for it, More on that a bit later. The Skittle isn’t an overly large toy but it’s sure built well, the entire package feels really solid without feeling extra heavy or cumbersome.

In Use

The Doxy Skittle is powerful, Extremely powerful, This is my first experience with a wall powered toy but I’d almost be hesitant to call what the Skittle puts out as vibrations, Quakes? Tremors? Contained dimensional instabilities? Whatever you call them they’re powerful enough to literally rub the skin off you, Sometimes in very sensitive areas (Not my best moment.). So if you need powerful vibrations the Skittle has you more than covered.

skittle on its side

My first go with the Skittle was pretty interesting, I took one look at the shape and the design and went “Prostate massage!” But after a sufficient amount of lube I was quite sad to find that the shaft on the end of the Skittle just isn’t near long enough to reach my prostate. The perineum massage from the smaller raised nub on the base felt great with the toy inserted though, And the vibrations from the pointer felt good internally, It just wasn’t hitting anywhere particularly interesting. As an external massager the Skittle is wonderful, It’s powerful and can pinpoint areas very easily due to the narrow pointer, But it can also supply some pretty great broad stimulation as well if you use the side of the pointer or the base instead of the tip.

After a few uses with the Skittle I kinda felt like I had discovered all there was to be discovered, And It was a great toy, I had no complaints, But then I found the way I’ve used to Skittle almost every single way since. Remember the little raised nub on the base? Well the curved swoop from that nub up to the pointer makes it perfect for wrapping around the head of your penis, So you get frenum stimulation from the pointer and extra stimulation from the nub on the front. With the Skittle in this orientation my entire stance on the toy changed, It went from a great toy to holy grail levels of pleasure. The combination of vibrations on both sides combined with the sheer power of the vibrations makes this probably the fastest and most powerful orgasm I’ve ever had. I often hear women say that the Magic Wand or the Doxy Wand are their go to when they can’t reach climax or just want to climax quickly and now I finally know what having that trump card is like.

Final Thoughts – Doxy Skittle

The Skittle is a wonderful addition to the toy box, I love the gender neutral design and the insanely powerful vibrations. The toy feels really good in the hand and I never found it overly heavy or tiring to hold on to. Orgasms from the Skittle come swiftly and they feel amazing. The Skittle did have a few points that I think could use some attention on future iterations, Like the seam running down the middle of the toy, While I couldn’t feel this in use it does detract from an otherwise stellar build quality. And the noise is could be a deal breaker for some, It’s not loud by any means, especially with how powerful the toy is, But’s its louder than your average vibrator.

I was a little disappointed that I couldn’t get any prostate stimulation from the Skittle but the skittle wasn’t designed for that, It was designed as an all purpose powerful vibrator for all body types and genders, And I think it does a pretty great job. External massage felt great and direct stimulation to the penis is intensely satisfying and I have no qualms with how the Skittle performed. Aside from the seam on the toy my other other critiques would be that I’d like to see the main unit of the toy sealed from water and moisture so it’s easier to clean, And maybe a different orientation for the cable, While not overly intrusive it did get in the way a couple of times.

In short, If you’re looking for a powerful vibrator that you don’t need to charge, don’t mind the relatively short insertable length or are looking for a external vibe the Doxy Skittle gets a standing orgasm ovation from me! Check out the listings on Doxy’s website to find a retailer near you, Or check your favourite online retailer!

A big thank you to Doxy for sending the Skittle out to me in exchange for an honest and  unbiased review.

Mental Health Monday: Week 4

Yet another week, And yet another Monday, But that means Mental Health Mondays!

Hello  everyone and welcome to  Mental Health Monday! This is a weekly installment that will hopefully catch on with other websites and bloggers, whether or not that happens is another story. You can read more over at Mental Health Mondays.

This week hasn’t been so much of a bad week for me as it has been a week for discovery. After having so many people recommend me to try out meditation as a way for me to deal with anxiety and depression I decided to give a try. I spent some time, studied various methods and then set aside the time the following day to try to meditate, After a short while meditating my mind ended up drifting to the places you don’t want it to go, The state of mind where seemingly everything feels like it weighs  200kg and you can’t bear the weight of your problems anymore. I decided to call it quits at the time and see if my state of mind changed the next day, It didn’t. I tried three days in a row and every single time I was left alone with my thoughts and had no distractions I ended up in a head space that I really didn’t want to be in. Maybe at some point I will be in a place where meditation will work for me, And maybe I’ll come to enjoy the act of meditating but currently it’s not worth the mental state it puts me in. Now I know that I’m not currently capable of using meditation for helping my mental state, It sucks that it didn’t work but it’s another thing crossed off the list, So  now I can try to find something that does work for me.

 

Mental Health Mondays

Mental Health Monday: Week 3

Welcome to the third week of Mental Health Mondays!

Hello  everyone and welcome to  Mental Health Monday! This is a weekly installment that will hopefully catch on with other websites and bloggers, whether or not that happens is another story. You can read more over at Mental Health Mondays.

Yet another really difficult week for me, But that’s why I started this series! To give me and others creative outlet for dealing with mental health issues.

I went to a concert this week, It’s a concert that me and my best friend have been looking forward to for months, Years if you count fandom of the band and hoping they do a world tour. They finally played where I live and they put on an amazing show, But it was really hard for me to enjoy the concert due to my anxiety and self-worth issues. Ever since I shut down emotionally after Perineum’s Praeterita: Part I I’ve had a really hard time being an expressive person, It’s not that I don’t feel emotions, quite the opposite in fact it’s just that I don’t express them on my face or with body language as easily as most people. My lack of externally showing emotions coupled with my inability to let go and have fun in public meant that instead of standing up with my best friend and banging my head with her and moving around to the music, I just sat there and watched.

A few times she looked back to me and gestured for me to get up with her and I was screaming at myself to just do it and have fun but I couldn’t, At that point I’d have given anything just to be able to let go of all the crap in my head telling me that I can’t do it and just have fun, But I couldn’t. Not only did I not enjoy myself as much as I should have, But I hampered my friends enjoyment of the show by not participating with her and making her worry about me and my health immediately afterwards. All of this because I can’t bring myself to let go, And not care about what I look like while having fun. Something that seems so simple is so far from being obtainable for me. I was originally going to type “I hate my brain sometimes” but I realized that it’s not my brain that I hate, Today it’s me as a person.

 

Mental Health Mondays

Mental Health Monday: Week 2

Welcome to the second week of Mental Health Monday!

Hello  everyone and welcome to  Mental Health Monday! This is a weekly installment that will hopefully catch on with other websites and bloggers, whether or not that happens is another story. You can read more over at Mental Health Mondays.

Triggers: Self Harm

This has been a really awful week for me, I’ve been under and immense amount of pressure and stress and I don’t really have any outlets for it currently, So I end up not expressing anything until I explode and do something stupid, That was yesterday. Even with my issues I’ve generally not taken part in self-harm, or at least not often, I can count the number of times that I’ve self-harmed on one hand but I ended up there in the end. When I have allowed myself to self-harm it’s never been cutting or scratching or tearing, I sat in the shower for I don’t know how long punching myself in the leg until my leg and arm were so numb I couldn’t move them anymore. And of course that doesn’t help anything, it’s the day after and I can still barely move my leg, My arm is killing me and now I feel guilty because I allowed myself to do that.  Looking back in hindsight  of course it makes zero sense that beating the crap out of yourself is going to not only injure you but put you in a negative mood, But when you’re breaking down and the only thoughts in your head are about how screwed you are and how much you hate yourself sometimes your body moves seemingly of its own accord, Like that’s what it was meant to do and your brain was just holding it back with logic and self worth. Thanks for reading.

 

Mental Health Mondays

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